The "Pain-Body": Never Too Old to Learn

My birthday is coming up this week (Dec. 9th) and I'll be 54 years old. Holy crap! Oops, sorry. I really don't mind having birthdays since the only way to escape aging is to croak. So, since I am a living being aging comes with the territory.

But none of us is too old to learn about ourselves. I have spoken several times in the past about reading the books of Eckhart Tolle, a current spiritual teacher and writer, and not to go on and on about his teachings like I'm obsessed, I find that the way he presents his very knowledgeable ideas resonates with me. He describes the human condition in a way that I experience and recognize it.

On a fundamental level, we humans are subject to being driven by our egos and are living as "pain-bodies." Sounds kind of like "the Borg," doesn't it? There is the collective pain-body which consists of horrible things we humans have done to each other throughout history such as waging war, torture, raping and pillaging, and utter destruction and violence that bring pain and suffering. This stuff is in our DNA. Then there is the pain and suffering we inherit from our parents who have their own share of pain, as well as the environmental experience we have as children at home and in our society. Some people are born with dense pain-bodies and tend to be sensitive, empathetic, and of course very disillusioned with our dysfunctional world made up of others with their pain-bodies. Some people have egos that feed on the negativity and do a good job of inflicting their pain onto others.

I find that there are certain "triggers" that touch off a spiral of anger first, then morphing into feeling like a victim, then lashing out at others, basically inflicting pain because I am in pain. Being in the grips of my pain-body is the height of unhappiness. My ego then tells me stories about how worthless I am, how my life has no value, how other people don't care about me, how horrible the entire world is, etc., and this feeding frenzy of negativity is what the ego wants most. Finally, I discover what is going on and it diffuses the ego's grip and I find it was all a bunch of self-created hooey.

Triggers can be family members (for me, my mother) or friends who are in such emotional pain themselves, so out of touch (unconscious) with themselves that they inflict their pain onto you in the vulnerable spot in your soul or psyche that hits like a poisoned arrow. Triggers can also be expectations about events or experiences or people who let you down.

As the Oracle of Delphi in ancient Greece was inscribed over the doorway, "Know Thyself," there is no greater power of life-force than being conscious of who and what you are about. I know I am not too old to keep learning about myself in my quest to be happy, of course. Ah, but then happiness is only one component of the ultimate state of being: Contentment.